I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
