Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
