it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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