So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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