i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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