Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
