btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
