Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
