therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I understand Curling. That high.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
