I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
