even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you mean i was at the winter classic?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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