omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
