i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
