i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
