I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
