no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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