i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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