Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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