So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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