Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Welp...herpes.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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