Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
