that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
