She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
