can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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