This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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