i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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