hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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