Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
