listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
