(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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