It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
