I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
