I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
