Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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