I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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