You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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