Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
