She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
