Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
