I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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