I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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