she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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