I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm like, not good at living.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
