and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
