Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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