Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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