"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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