Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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