They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
