you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
