Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
