bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
