Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He? As in you personified your dick?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
